Struggling for Silence

I have been unsettled the last few weeks.

Dissatisfied and restless are good words.

I am just anxious to be alone.

ALONE WITH GOD.

Why is that so hard sometimes?

Struggling for the noise of my life to quiet down.

Struggling to be still.

Struggling to quit talking.

Quit thinking.

Struggling for silence.

SILENCE in my heart.

SILENCE IN MY MIND.

Struggling, wrestling, mustering up all my strength and FAILING.

Failing to find time to spend with God.

And when I make time, failing to be still and quiet enough to hear from Him.

Once you've been in the TRUE PRESENCE of God there is NO WHERE you would rather be than "THERE" in His Presence.

NO WHERE.

So I have been asking myself, "Self, why aren't you THERE? Why can't you get THERE?"

Tons of excuses come to mind, but I guess it boils down to priorities and choices.
And whatever the "reason" is, when I am not "THERE" I am not happy.

I am not peaceful.

I am not joyful.

I am not so fun to be around.

This morning I just wanted to get back "THERE".

This morning I sat down to read God's Word and my mind was so distracted, I started to cry, and God gave me this,

"Not by might nor by power,

but by my Spirit,'

says the LORD Almighty...

The words I have spoken to you

are spirit and they are life

(Zech 4:6, John 6:63)."

I rolled those verses around in my mind. "Not by your might Dawn, but by My Spirit. My Words are Spirit and they are life to you Dawn."

My problem was diagnosed.

The medicine was sitting on the end table.

THE WORD.

With all of our "holiday activities" I haven't spent enough time with God the last few weeks. The holiday bussle has disrupted my "routine." Zeph 3:17 says it is God's love that quiets my heart.

I was starving my spirit man, and Jesus said in Matthew 4:4,

"Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."

Jesus didn't die to give me religion.

He died to give me a relationship, and I don't know about you, but I can't have a relationship with anyone if I don't spend quality time listening, talking, and learning about them.

I cried out for forgiveness. I cried out for Help. I spoke His Word over myself.

I remember that even though I screw up DAILY, I am still the "apple of His eye".

Even though I reject him He still "delights over me with singing."

I just praised Him for those TRUTHS.

I praised HIM for loving me even when I give Him every reason not to.

Immediately, I was THERE.

THERE in His Presence.

My mind was quiet, and the noise was gone.

Silence.

Rest.

Peace.

You don't have to be super-spiritual or have a special call on your life to enter into God's Power or His Presence. God inhabits the praises of His people (Psalm 22:3).

I got this analogy from Lynne Hammond's book, The Master is Calling:

"Just as your city has a huge generator that supplies electricity you can tap into by simply plugging in a cord, God has a similar system. His throne is like a huge, spiritual generator from which the river of life flows. (See Rev 22:1.) As we worship we plug into that generator, and power (or life) begins to flow in us. That's why God wants us to worship - not because He needs us to make Him feel good about Himself but because He wants us to plug into His power! You're ALWAYS plugged in somewhere. In fact, you are plugged in something right now. You might be plugged into what your mind is thinking. You might be plugged into your circumstances. If you're sick, you might be plugged into your doctor's diagnosis. But if you want to get the power of God flowing, you'll have to UNPLUG from those places and plug into the throne of God through praise."

My mind was not just plugged into one thing; it was plugged into one of those power strips. I was plugged into thinking about: Christmas lists, travel plans, a meeting my sister-in-law is having tonight, worrying for my sweet friend's husband, what Fox News was saying about our economy and the Middle East, budgets, outfits, tomorrow, etc.

My mind was plugged into these things, and I wasn't receiving anything but noise. My mind was running around like a two-year-old jumping on the couch and doing/thinking whatever it wanted to. I needed God's power to strenghten my inner man so I could tell my mind to, "BE QUIET."

God's Word tells us how to find peace and satisfaction, but He loves us so much He gives us a free will. It is a choice.

It is my choice.

Isaiah 26:3, "You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You."

***On a side note I heard an interesting definition from John Bevere - "Idolatry is what we give our strength to or what we draw our strength from." Hmm...

What are you plugged into?