Brothers

The boys pretending to fish on Daddy's boat. The last few days have been so warm (in the 80's), so we've spent a lot of time outside.

Drew sportin' the "new look"...shorts and boots!!!

Drew was fishing in the puddle of water!

Kade was yelling/growling at Drew...I don't know what about because it happens all the time.

Kade's new words are "Wait for me guys" and "Hiney". The other day I heard him joyfully yelling, "Hiney, Hiney, Hiney..." from my bedroom. I found him with his diaper off, standing on my bed, looking in the mirror at his hiney, and smiling.

We Ain't Just Growin' Kids 'Round Here

Nana sent the boys a Garden Kit in the mail. We planted sunflowers, marigolds, and cucumbers. The boys decorated the box, planted the seeds, and watered them on Saturday!

We have checked every hour on the hour (literally =) for seedlings and this morning we found this:

(actually the picture doesn't do the growth justice =)

We actually have two leaves on our marigold seedlings this afternoon...who knew watching plants grow could be so exciting...or maybe I just need to get out more ????

I went to Wal-Mart Sunday, and picked up more seeds to plant for two reasons:

1. It is something for the boys and I to do together (plus I am sure I get extra "mom points" because this is a "learning activity" right???=)

2. After watching Glenn Beck's "The War Zone" Saturday night on Fox, I decided I need to start teaching the boys "survival" skills. (Seriously DO NOT watch that show right before you go to bed...SCARY)

Here is what we planted this afternoon!

Drew said, "Mom, I am the best grower man in the whole world."


Packing the dirt with those chubby little fingers.


The boys have been working on "school" projects. I think Ronnie and I are going to send Drew to Pre-K two mornings at week at Levelland Christian School. I know he is ready, but me...not so much! I can't believe they are growing up so fast.
Pictures below of Drew and Kade working on their names!You can see in this picture Kade is wearing Drew's old shoes. I hid the red Lightin' McQueen Crocs thinking he would get over the shoe obsession...NO! He started wearing an old pair of Drew's except these cause him to have HORRIFIC foot odor. Seriously it smells worse than any man I have ever been around. Kade keeps things interesting! Never a dull moment - and I love it!
I am having a hard time with Kade getting so big...the baby stage is over. I realized last night Kade is the same age Drew was when I had him. The other night I had to just go into their bedroom and hold Kade's little, chubby, elephant-knuckled hand. I would have bottled up that moment if I could have.
The plants aren't the only thing growing around here: Kade is weighing in at 32 pounds and is 35 1/2 inches tall. Drew is 43 3/4 inches tall and weighing 45.5 pounds (he has shot up 1 3/4 inches since the first of September). Kade's new thing to say (in a real gruff, bearish growl) "Mama, Come On!" He has also started putting his baby puppy (a little blanket with a dog head that he carries around) to sleep. He rocks it, lays it down on a pillow, and tell all of us, "Shh! Baby seepin'!" I need to get him saying it on camera because the "Shh!" part with his little chubby finger over his lips is priceless.
The boys spent the evening sitting in the boat in our front yard pretending to fish. Ronnie is already tunin' up the boat for this spring/summer. WE are planning on doing a lot of camping, fishing, and vacationing with the boys. We are looking for good places to camp...please leave me suggestions if you know of any!!! The boys just can't wait...I don't know if they'll be able to sleep tonight after talking about sleeping in the tent, making s'mores, playing Hungry Hippo all night long, tubing, going fishing, etc.

Healing, Love, and Friends In Ruidoso

Friday after Ronnie got home from his conference in College Station (he was gone all week), we went to Ruidoso with the Crutchers, Rodriguezs, Potters, and Johnsons. Ronnie and I stopped in Plains, Texas, at a great little Mexican food restaurant. Then we got back in the pick-up and literally chased the sunset for two hours as we drove into New Mexico. We talked for over a hour and a half non-stop with no interruptions from the kids. (Just what I needed after a long week of him being away). We held hands and I shared some "deep" things with him that I felt God was whispering into my heart. I think that was probably my favorite part of the entire weekend. When we got to the cabin Friday night we all played Scattegories and laughed and laughed and laughed. That game just cracks me up!!! Saturday morning all the boys went skiing and the girls went shopping. Ruidoso has an entire strip of shops, and we ate the best pizza at this little pizzeria (it reminded me of the pizza I ate when I visited Chicago). Ronnie and the boys got back from skiing, and we all sat around and visited...supposedly, the guys are "a little" out of shape so they were already feeling the strained muscles by the time we went out Saturday night. We all dressed up and headed to eat at Casa Blanc; the food was good and the company was GREAT. Sunday morning we all went to eat at the Log Cabin and everyone headed home. Ronnie and I hung around and went to check out the Inn of the Mountain Gods. We weren't really in the "gambling" mood - I was so tired. We love to play on the Craps table, but I didn't have a single "Woo Hoo!" in me...and if you know anything about Craps, the "Woo Hoo" is necessary =) We drove around Ruidoso and shopped for souvenirs for the kids. (Ronnie bought Drew his first sling-shot so please pray for Kade's safety =) Sunday night we got in around 4, ordered Chinese, and watched a movie. I think I was asleep by 7 and slept in until 10 this morning. THAT PART WAS SOOOOO GOOD!! =) Ronnie's Mom and Dad kept the boys for us this weekend (THANKS NONNIE AND PAPA) and the boys came home this afternoon. All in all I believe this will be a Valentine's Day that I won't forget.

You know God amazes me...if you think about it nature reflects the beauty of God. He could have made the entire earth look like Levelland, Texas. But, he gave us mountains, waterfalls, seashores, canyons, beautiful sunsets and views like the one above. This beauty is not really "function oriented" - does that make sense? It serves no purpose other than for us to enjoy it. God gave us beauty on this earth to reveal another part of His personality...a way for us to see a glimpse of His True Beauty. At least that is what I believe!!!

Our cabin sat extremely high on a hill. It was beautiful - we had a hot tub, five bedrooms, wrap around porch, etc.
The view off of our back porch balcony!!! Isn't it beautiful...I could have spent the entire day sitting out there with a good book and hot chocolate!

Our living room at the cabin!

Ryan and Jose playing the WII
Our extremely hot hubbies - Ryan Crutcher, Cody Johnson, Jose Rodriguez, and Ronnie

Our king size bed - we even had our own bathroom. Shannon left Ronnie and me a little "surprise" on the bed but since this is a "family blog"... I will leave the details out!!! =)

The girls - Me, Misty, Shannon and Holly at Casa Blanc Saturday night!

The group on Sunday morning - we were all exhausted!!! The boys could barely walk from the skiing =)
You can go to Holly's Blog for more pictures from the weekend!!!

***Update on my last post: After I wrote that post I just felt like I had climbed a mountain and once I reached the top there was peace. Have you ever done that? Once you write something down you feel a sense of release? God has been showing me that He and I have some work to do - some old roots to hoe out of my thinking (so to speak). I prayed all day Thursday, "Lord if Your desire is for me to seek a different path in my "ministry" and to not do any more speaking, I am okay with that. I just want to be a vessel for you and I will go and do whatever You want me to. I will wait on you, Lord, to open up the next door for me to walk through. I know I some growing to do Lord, but I honestly don't know how to get over this mental stronghold. Help me!"

Friday morning I wake up, check my email, and cry as I read numerous encouraging notes girls and women had written me about Wednesday night. Then I took my kids to Floydada to meet Ronnie's mom and I get a call from a dear friend, Amber Decker. She and I have not talked in over 2 months (since Women's Walk #34). The conversation went like this:

Amber - "Dawn I haven't been able to get you off my mind this week. I felt like God has been wanting me to call you. How is it going?"

Me - "Well Amber I'll be honest, I have been better." Then I proceed to tell her about my desire to speak and share my "God story" and that I spoke in Seminole Wednesday and that I was dealing with some disturbing thoughts about how I did.. (which usually whether I am good or bad - I answer with the standard 'I am great! How are you?')

Amber - "Dawn, I know why God wanted me to call you!!! Jennifer and I have been planning a lock-in for the high school girls in O'Donnell. We need a speaker. I didn't know you enjoyed giving your testimony. Will you please come and share."

Of course I said yes and the entire time I am praising God because He knows me so well. He answered my prayer and opened not just a door to affirm He wants me to continue speaking - He opened a huge gate!

THEN...

After I dropped the boys off I just wanted to "zone-out"...I mean honestly my mind needed to "veg" out. I had been processing way to much information and smoke was coming out of my ears. I just wanted to turn up the radio, roll down the windows, and scream, "I am Free." I had no kids with me, I felt better, I felt God had spoken a Word over me, I was fixing to spend a week-away with my hubby, etc. But, God told me to put in the DVD of Beth Moore's 'Believing God' - Session 7 that I had missed last week. I kept resisting; he kept nudging. SO - I listened, and guess what it was about? Getting over mental strongholds...Yep!!! I SERVE A GREAT GOD.

Jeremiah 33:3 the Lord says, "Call to Me, and I WILL answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know."

Am I Enough?

I don't know. Today I don't feel like I am enough of anything. This post could be raw because today I feel raw. Today I feel like I am standing on shifting sand, questioning my very purpose, questioning the very gifts I thought I was so sure God had given me.
Last night a dream came true for me. Last night a prayer was answered when I was given the chance to go and share my "God story" with the young ladies of FBC Seminole. I was given two verses Ps. 139:14 and Ephesians 3:17-19 and as I searched out God's Voice in these verses I reveled in each new revelation HE gave me. He showed me how both of these verses have everything to do with HIS REAL LOVE, the theme for the night. I have been in prayer for weeks for each young lady in attendance, I felt God's hand on me through it all. But when I finished my talk I felt like I had failed. I felt like I had not hit the mark. I felt lost. I felt confused. I felt unsure of who or what I was. I felt like I wasn't enough in that moment.
I kept thinking to myself, "Dawn, this is the very thing you talked to the girls about, what is wrong with you?" Then I realized I might know about "IN HIM I AM ENOUGH" but I don't own it. You know? Head knowledge and heart knowledge are two different things and when your feelings are battling your head knowledge the feelings always end up as victors. So where does that leave me? What do I do now? I want to roll around under the covers and eat cinnamon rolls, but I can't. I want to cry. I want to sleep. I want to make the awful thoughts in my head to turn off. I want peace. I need peace, so there is only one thing I can do...I have to go to God's Word.
Last night my friend Sara read a poem titled "Who Am I?" by Shelly Hitz. The following words touched the very core of my soul
"Who Am I? My first answer would probably be my name. But, my name doesn't describe who I am on the inside. I could then give the title of my profession. But that is what I do. I could tell you I am a wife, a sister, a daughter. But those are my relationships. I ask again, WHO AM I? I could describe myself as an extrovert and outgoing. But that is my personality. I am organized in planning events. But that is a gift God has given me. I could describe my appearance, but that is not who I am either. (here is where it really hit home for me) So many times I have believed what others say I am. If I receive affirmation, then I feel worthwhile. However, when I receive criticism, then I feel like a failure. I have chosen to ride the roller coaster of emotions, instead of believing the truth of what God says about me. I have tried to work harder to prove I am worthwhile. Yet every time I mess up or fail, I am reminded that I will never measure up. I will never be pretty enough or talented enough. I will never be skinny enough or do enough good things in church. I will never be a good enough wife or sister or daughter (OR MOTHER). But I keep trying harder and harder. I BELIEVE the lie that if I continue to try harder I will finally be "good" enough."
My head is spinning and my hands are frozen...I don't know how to follow this up. My entire life feels wrapped up in the lie that if I try harder and work harder I will be good enough. Good enough for Ronnie, good enough for Drew and Kade, good enough in my mind's eye, good enough for my mom and dad -BUT you know what I never measure up. I always look to others and ask the question, "Am I enough?" Why do we do that? Am I the only one? I told the girls last night we are suppose to take those questions to God because there will be days our emotions (our flesh) tell us we aren't enough but God's Word says we are.
God's Word says I am enough. While I was a sinner, He sent His only son, Jesus Christ to die for me. Romans 5:8
God's Word says that I am His Masterpiece. Ephesians 2:10
God's Word says that I am the apple of His eye. Psalm 17:8
God's Word says He delights over me with singing - EVEN ON MY BAD DAYS. Zeph 3:17
God's Word says I was chosen to be His own special treasure. Deut 7:6
God's Word says I am important enough that He knows all my thoughts. Psalm 139:17-18
God's Word says my sorrow is important enough that He counts my tears. Psalm 56:8
God's Word says He will never leave me or forsake me. Hebrews 13:5

God's Word says I am enough...not on my own. No on my own all my righteous acts are like filthy rags to Him, Isaiah 64:6. But by the very grace of God I am enough. Am I enough that He will leave me where I am at? NO, I he loves me too much to leave me here; I am a work in progress , but He is faithful to complete what He started in me. (Phil 1:6) I have to rest in the knowledge of who I am IN HIM. Nothing else, no accomplishment, no goal obtained, no "feeling", no compliment will fill the spot in my heart to make me feel like I am good enough.
ONLY IN HIM AM I ENOUGH.
I don't feel it today, but I can't follow my heart. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "the human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked." So today I choose to believe God's Word. Today I CHOOSE to rest in it. Today I CHOOSE to live it. Today I CHOOSE to be enough in HIM.
So today I begin a new journey. A journey to not just have this head knowledge...but, to own it - for it to be blueprinted on the lining of my heart.

Remember Baby Harper?

Remember me asking for prayer for Baby Harper. They didn't think she would make it. Well, "they" (the doctors) underestimated OUR GREAT PHYSICIAN and the power of prayer. Go check out Kelly's blog and see how well Miss Harper is doing!

Happy Birthday Shannon

Friday, February 6th is Shannon's Birthday, so.....

"Happy Birthday to youuuuuu,

Happy Birthday to youuuuuu,

Happy Birthday dear Shannon

Happy Birthday to youuuuuu!!!"

Three things I LOVE about my sweet friend Shannon!

1. She manages to go to school, raise three kids, and still asks me and anyone else if we need anything!!! She is a very giving person!

2. She is devoted to her family. They have Friday night family night and several other traditions to keep their family unit strong!

3. She is who she is and says what she means. Shannon is genuine and real! I love that!

oh yea, one more thing....

4. She is dependable...if Shannon says she is going to do something or be somewhere you can depend on her to do just that!!!

So stop by Shannon's blog and tell her Happy Birthday! I know she'll appreciate the comments!!!

First Annual "Princess Night" at FBC Levelland

81 girls participated in our first annual "Princess Night". Over half were not members of our church! It was a great outreach!!! Praise God!
The girls in the "spa" having their nails done and hair fixed!!!
We tried to make the gym look elegant with tulle...like I said, we tried!!!

Thanks to Aimee Miller, Sherry, Alexis, Holly, and Amie for decorating!
The girls arrived at 6, ate pizza and then listened to the Praise Band. Thanks to Stacy, Dustin, Greg, and Amber for "rockin" it out. The girls loved it; they were dancing, singing and jumping all around. Holly said it look like I mosh (sp?) pit!!!! We also had a speaker come in from Dallas, Shelly Conrad (go check out her website and prepare to be amazed!). She totally "captivated" the girls while talking about being a child of God. If you are ever in need of a speaker, I highly recommend her!

Then the girls broke into three groups to rotate through our three sessions. Session 1 was about how to have a quiet time. Thank you Holly, Christy, and Casey!!! After the presentation the girls decorated devotionals made by Amie!!! I have already had a report that two of the girls, that our sisters, have been having their own quiet time every night since Friday!!! God is sooooo good!!!

Session 2 was on the ACTS way to pray. The girls made BEAUTIFUL crystal/silver bracelets designed by Shannon, Stephanie, and Amber!!!

The junior counselors doing the girls hair!!!

Session 3 was all about being God's Princess. The girls got to decorate "princess" back packs to hold all of their goodies. Thanks Sherri, Stacy, and Ellen.

From 10-12 the girls spent time in the spa and doing crafts. Then we put on a "fashion" show in a "What Not To Wear" kind of way. It was followed up with the 3-5th grade girls talking to Ms. Lawless on how to dress and 6 grade and up talking with Megan Moore about purity and dressing to glorify God. Thanks to both of those ladies for doing an awesome job.

The rest of the night included sundaes, movies, crafts, games, etc.

Saturday morning Terri and Loyce made a special breakfast for the moms; we had over 35 moms in attendance. Shelly Conrad spoke to them about being God's Princess Warrior.

The only down side of the entire night for me was...

I missed it. =(

After all the preparation, I got pink eye in both eyes and an upper respiratory infection on Friday. I was heart-broken, but I had AWESOME FRIENDS texting and updating me all night long. Thanks to Sherry G. for these pics.