Wednesday, April 2, 2008

A Post From One of My Favorite Bloggers

I LOVE Trey's blog... I am always searching for Christian books about improving your marriage. I just recently finished the CD series "Marriage on the Rock" by Jimmy Evans. I HIGHLY recommend it for all couples. Lea, Trey's wife, just posted this:

"Hello bloggers! Hopefully Trey hasn't built this up so much that you will be disappointed. I liked all your suggestions for my post. I especially loved the suggestion made by an anonymous person to post about "Ten Way's to Stay in Love for 20 Years" (and hopefully more)! Here are some things Trey and I have learned from our 20 years of marriage...

WORSHIP & PRAY TOGETHER. Statistics show that couples who attend worship services together are less likely to divorce than those who don't. Praying together builds intimacy and communication by sharing you innermost thoughts together before your Lord and creator.

READ THE BOOK HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS by Dr. Williard Harley, or better yet, take the 8 week seminar. We attended a training seminar and have led 4 of these 8 week seminars. I believe it is the best thing we have done for our marriage.

DON'T SPEND MORE MONEY THAN YOU MAKE. Financial problems are the #1 cause for divorce in America. Living within your means and striving to be "debt free" will greatly reduce stress in your marriage. Another "must read" is Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey. (Better yet, take the seminar and apply the principles.)

UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT YOUR DIFFERENCES. Trey and I are polar opposites. Some of the very things that attracted me to him before we were married were the very things that drove me crazy after we were married. For the first few years of our marriage, I made us both miserable by trying to change him. It wasn't until I understood and accepted that he is exactly who God made him to be that I could overlook some minor things and truly love him for who he is. Yes, I'm going to suggest another book, but it has made a huge difference in the way I view Trey and other people. Personality Plus by Florence Littauer teaches why people are the way they are and points out the strengths and weaknesses of every personality type.

KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN. How can you remain "one" if you never share your thoughts, concerns, and plans with one another? We have found that going walking together is one of our best times for communication away from interruptions. (The exercise is an added bonus).

BE LIKEABLE: I think we all go through times in our marriages when we love each other, but we just really don't like each other. Thankfully for us, those times have been infrequent and temporary. Things like grouchiness, moodiness, negativity and annoying behavior can cause us to become unlikeable. Nobody likes living with someone who is unlikeable. Proverbs 21:9 & 19 say that it's "better to live on the corner of a roof or in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife". Strive to be likeable.

FIGHT FAIR: Disagreements are inevitable in marriage, but try to keep your attitude in check. Watch your words, tone of voice and body language. Don't hold grudges or keep bringing up each other's past mistakes. When you forgive you also need to forget!

DATE OFTEN: It's very important to get away from the kids and just spend time focusing on each other. Be sure to include a weekend getaway occasionally! Husbands, it's extra bonus points for you if you're the one who lines up the babysitter and plans the date.

SHARE MANY COMMON INTERESTS: Play together and be best friends. It's okay to have separate interests, but be sure you have more common interests than separate ones. I have learned to love things like camping, football and NASCAR and our relationship is better for it. Whatever your spouse has an interest in, try to develop an interest in it as well.

LOVE & RESPECT IS ESSENTIAL: A Ladies Bible study I attend is reading a Focus on the Family book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs called "Love and Respect." The verse we're looking at is Ephesians 5:33 that says, "Each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband!" This isn't a suggestion, it's God's command. The love spoken of here is agape, unconditional love. This kind of love is doing what is very best for the other. The passage also suggests the respect must be unconditional. If I respect Trey unconditionally, he will love me unconditionally. The more Trey loves me, the more I respect him and the happier we are. "

Thank you Lea... Check out Trey's blog!


Stephanie said...

I really enjoy his blog also...I actually learn and feel better after reading it....Where did you get your CDs...I started reading it a while back...and never finished it...I think I would do the CDs better....take care and y'all need to come in sometime soon and us all get together....steph

Anonymous said...


Thanks so much for thinking my post was interesting enough to put on your blog. I'm humbled yet honored.



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